Life in the After

It took 10 months for Dennis and I to get pregnant with Briton. While trying for Scoty we found out I had some fertility problems. It took about 2 years for us to get pregnant with him. We were at the stopping point when it finally happened. This was the family we prayed for. The family we worked hard for. The one where sex was sometimes a chore with an end goal. Spontaneity went out the window those last several months of trying. I had actually started medication for us to try for #3 when things started to go downhill. We were supposed to be parents together. Be a team. Be partners. I wasn't supposed to do this by myself. But here I am, teaching Scoty how to pee in the potty (success!) and count to 10 (we are almost there). Alone. Trying to convince Briton that deodorant is an everyday necessity (we aren't quite there yet) and teaching him how to be a good friend (he's a natural). Alone. I say alone but I know I have our village. God, grandparents, siste...

Saturday morning I woke up to Briton standing very close to the side of my bed with a very worried expression on his face. "Mommy, I need your help." You could just hear the stress dripping out of his voice. "What's wrong Bubs?" I asked, suddenly awake. "I can't find my iPod and I've been looking for an hour!" he told me. Really kid? I haven't slept past 7am in I don't know how long and this is why you are waking me up? I thought about rolling over and going back to sleep until Scoty woke (me) up...but he looked really upset so this mom got her butt out of bed. Brit had fallen asleep on the couch watching YouTube videos on his iPod the night before. There is an opening in our couch that eats things. They fall through and land inside the couch where your hands can't reach. I know this because one night my phone fell into this couch black hole and I had to cut a small hole into the underlay fabric (I'm not sure if that i...