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Saturday morning couch surgery

Saturday morning I woke up to Briton standing very close to the side of my bed with a very worried expression on his face.

"Mommy, I need your help." You could just hear the stress dripping out of his voice.

"What's wrong Bubs?" I asked, suddenly awake.

"I can't find my iPod and I've been looking for an hour!" he told me.

Really kid? I haven't slept past 7am in I don't know how long and this is why you are waking me up? I thought about rolling over and going back to sleep until Scoty woke (me) up...but he looked really upset so this mom got her butt out of bed.

Brit had fallen asleep on the couch watching YouTube videos on his iPod the night before. There is an opening in our couch that eats things. They fall through and land inside the couch where your hands can't reach. I know this because one night my phone fell into this couch black hole and I had to cut a small hole into the underlay fabric (I'm not sure if that is what it is called but for the purpose of this story the fabric on the bottom of the couch will now be called the underlay) to fit my hand in and rescue my phone.

He thinks his iPod is in the couch.

I move the end table and put my hand into the hole. Oh the crumbs. So, so many crumbs. I pull out 2 hot wheel cars and a missing tv remote. No iPod. To further my reach I have Briton bring me a hanger. More crumbs, a few legos, safety scissors, a long lost debit card but no iPod. I decide to prop the couch up a little and use the newfound safety scissors to cut a little deeper into the underlay. Using the hanger to really dig in there I feel something. Another tv remote.

I decide I am going to prop the couch on it's side and give it a good shake to send all materials to the opposite side of the couch. I then repeat the same couch surgery incisions to the other side of the couch. (**Note, I realize I should of just shook the couch from the other side to shake them to the already existing hole but I was tired and at this point, very investing in getting everything out our couch black hole). 2 more tv remotes (yeah, I know we have a problem) and 1 fire remote later we still don't have the iPod. By this point I am sweating and my back hurt but I needed to know if it was in there. I decided I would tilt the couch on it's back and I put my head inside the newly cut hole in my underlay with my cellphone flashlight. It was at this moment I watch Michelle Obama (our cat) climb into the abyss that is our family couch.

My cat was inside the couch and I still didn't see that iPod.

Luckily, she had not yet been fed. When she heard her can of whitefish and shrimp mush open she poked her head out from wherever she was hiding inside this mess of a couch and I was able to grab her and pull her out.

By this point Scoty had woken up and thought that Saturday morning couch surgery was so fun and was dancing around with tv remotes and long lost toys. With all kitty's, pups, and toddlers a safe distance away I laid the couch back to it's normal sitting position. Sweaty, covered in weird, unidentifiable crumbs I sat down on the couch and hung my head in defeat. The beast had won.

I moved the throw blanket that Brit had used the night before and there on the couch, not the black hole, was his iPod. The one he had searched for for an hour.

Mommin' ain't easy.

Love,
Rachael

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