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Calling in sad

There is so much going on in my brain right now. And at the same time there is nothing at all. Does that even make sense?

Dennis has been gone about 6 weeks. 6 long weeks. Today is a tough day for Briton, he needed to "call in sad" from school today. So I let him. He's 9 and his daddy is dead, he's allowed sad days. He's outside enjoying the sunshine right now. He asked if we could go to Subway for lunch, he has a gift card and he said he wants to treat me. That kid is too much. He is so sad but he is still concerned about his mommy.

As the days move on they have been getting harder. And heavier. So many people are helping us carry this weight around but some days it is still hard to even move it's so heavy. I have been toying with the thought of blogging about our journey thru this grief and today I decided it was just time. I don't want to forget all the happy that still happens every day while we walk this journey. All the funny, all the frustration, all the tears, and all the joy. I'm a widowed wife with a 9 year old and a 2 year old who lives with her 67 year old mom. I'm pretty sure someone could find the humor in our daily life and struggles and make a pretty good sitcom. So I'm going to write about this. We will have these stories because they are our stories, and when we forget our why they will help us remember. So even though Michelle Obama (our cat) feels nice and snuggly laying on my feet and the pantless toddler watching YouTube toy reviews next to me on my phone is content I must sign off for now because there is laundry (so much laundry) to do and groceries to buy. And I have a date waiting to take me to Subway.

-Rachael

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